This 2020 NFL Mock Draft made Mel Kiper’s head explode

It’s that time of year again… Mock Draft season.

With the Coronavirus pandemic shutting down sports, all eyes truly are on the 2020 NFL Draft.

But instead of just another mock draft by so-called “experts,” Sports with Balls’ crack research department put together a Mock Draft you’ll actually want to read.

The 2020 draft class isn’t as stacked as in years’ past (who could forget Green Bay Packers’ wide receiver Equanimeous St. Brown?), but there are some solid players on the board.

Here are our best names of the 2020 NFL Draft:

1. Cincinnati Bengals: Lamar Jackson – CB, Nebraska
Our Expert’s Take: The Quarterback-needy Bengals think they get the steal of the draft only to find out the Ravens took the real Lamar Jackson last year.

2. Washington REDSKINS: Alijah Halliburton – S, Wyoming
Our Expert’s Take: Trying to appease the Washington, D.C. lobbyists, the ‘skins take an oil tycoon in the number 2 spot.

3. Detroit Lions: Thakarius Keyes – CB, Tulane
Our Expert’s Take: Lions coach Matt Patricia desperately needs someone to fill Darius Slay’s shoes this season. He’s giving the keys to “Thak.”

4. New York Giants: James Smith-Williams – EDGE, NC State
Our Expert’s Take: Giants management can’t get too flashy here. They take the most generic name on the board.

5. Miami Dolphins: Nigel Warrior – S, Tennessee
Our Expert’s Take: Who wouldn’t want to buy a jersey with the name “Warrior” on the back?

6. San Diego Chargers of Los Angeles: Tua Tagovailoa – QB, Alabama
Our Expert’s Take: Tua is the heir apparent to Philip Rivers. Some people pronounce it “TUNG-ah-vy-lo-uh.” We don’t really understand either.

7. Carolina Panthers: Prince Tega Wanogho – OL, Auburn
Our Expert’s Take: Anytime you can add royalty to your team, you take that chance.

8. Arizona Cardinals: Joey Magnifico – TE, Memphis
Our Expert’s Take: Announcers will go bonkers for Magnifico.

9. Jacksonville Jaguars: Laviska Shenault Jr. – WR, Colorado
Our Expert’s Take: The Jags get some much-needed talent to surround Gardner Minshew II.

10. Cleveland Browns: L’Jarius Sneed – S, Louisiana Tech
Our Expert’s Take: The Browns have a need for Sneed.

11. New York Jets: Jaquarius Landrews – S, Miss. State
Our Expert’s Take: I can just hear Chris Berman singing “This is the dawning of the age of Jaquarius…” in the fastest two minutes highlights.

12. Las Vegas RRRRRaiders: Javelin Guidry – CB, Utah
Our Expert’s Take: Guidry’s parents were disappointed he didn’t become a pentathlete. But they settle for an NFL player.

13. San Francisco 49ers f/IND: Elorm Lumor – EDGE, Rutgers
Our Expert’s Take: This is definitely an alien’s name, right?

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Maurice Ffrench – WR, Pitt
Our Expert’s Take: Bucs add more pass-catching talent for their new QB Tom Brady. And no, that’s not a typo. It really is “Ffrench.”

15. Denver Broncos: Mekhi Becton – OL, Louisville
Our Expert’s Take: Many experts have Becton as the top offensive lineman. He falls in our draft, but he just sounds like a big dude.

16. Atlanta Falcons: Kyahva Tezino – LB, San Diego State
Our Expert’s Take: Took us three minutes to figure out how to pronounce it too.

17. Dallas Cowboys: Tyre Phillips – OL, Miss. State
Our Expert’s Take: Now this is a football name.

18. Miami Dolphins f/PIT: Yetur Gross-Matos – EDGE, Penn State
O Our Expert’s Take: Dolphins get their pass rusher at 18.

19. Las Vegas RRRRRaiders f/CHI: K’Lavon Chaisson – EDGE, LSU
Our Expert’s Take: Chaisson falls into the laps of the RRRRRaiders, who’d love to take him here. Can never have enough pass rush.

20. Jacksonville Jaguars f/LAR: Arryn Siposs – P, Auburn
Our Expert’s Take: Jags have a history of taking punters high in the draft, taking Bryan Anger in the third round ahead of Russell Wilson. Big reach here.

21. Philadelphia Eagles: Noah Igbinoghene – CB, Auburn
Our Expert’s Take: You gotta love the “easy-first-name-impossible-to-pronounce-last-name” combo here.

22. Minnesota Vikings f/BUF: Alohi Gilman – S, Notre Dame
Our Expert’s Take: Fun fact: Alohi’s sister’s name is Kawelina.

23. New England Patriots: McTelvin Agim – DL, Arkansas
Our Expert’s Take: Bill Belichick appeases the local Boston Irish fans with this surprise pick. We would’ve gone with Cheyenne O’Grady (TE – Arkansas) here.

24. New Orleans Saints: Michael Divinity Jr. – LB, LSU
Our Expert’s Take: Saints + Divinity makes a lot of sense at 24. They take the local product out of LSU.

25. Minnesota Vikings: Quartney Davis – WR, Texas A&M
Our Expert’s Take: It just sounds like the Vikings would take a guy named Quartney.

26. Miami Dolphins f/HOU: Sewo Olonilua – RB, TCU
Our Expert’s Take: Never take a running back in the first round unless they have enough vowels in their name.

27. Seattle Seahawks: JaMycal Hasty – RB, Baylor
Our Take: Back-to-back running backs here is a big no-no. But Pete Carroll can’t pass up Hasty.

28. Baltimore Ravens: Lloyd Cushenberry III – OL, LSU
Our Expert’s Take: Ravens have to protect Lamar Jackson and they grab a guy that just sounds like a big dude here.

29. Tennessee Titans: Oluwole Betiku Jr. – EDGE, Illinois
Our Expert’s Take: It just feels wrong that the Titans are drafting this late in the first round. They’ll be 7-9 this season.

30. Green Bay Packers: Keisean Lucier-South – LB, UCLA
Our Expert’s Take: “Keyshawn” was too plain, so the Lucier-South’s had to spice it up.

31. San Francisco 49ers: Tre’Vour Wallace-Simms – OL, Missouri
Our Expert’s Take: Could’ve thrown in an extra hyphen or apostrophe somewhere, but beggars can’t be choosers this late in the first round.

32. Kansas City Chiefs: Ron’Dell Carter – EDGE, James Madison
Our Expert’s Take: We just love the name Ron’Dell.

Did we miss anybody? Let us know in the comments…